Motherhood Anti-Expectations

On my first blog entry after becoming pregnant, I'd like to rant a bit about what I have observed about pregnancies, babies and parenting in today's America. Rather, this is a list of things I SHALL NOT DO as a new mom.

1. Since plenty of people have asked this question (either out of well-intended curiosity or felt obligated to ask it to make conversation), I will not "decorate" the "nursery" and paint the walls either pink, blue or yellow depending on the sex of the baby. I happen to think white walls are beautiful in our spare bedroom. In fact, I don't plan to find out the sex of the baby so people will not give me all baby things pink or all baby things blue. The downside is I might end up getting everything yellow, because of course, yellow is a "neutral" color. That's like the first lesson you learn in parenting 101, duh!

Who ever said baby girls shouldn't wear blue and baby boys can't be seen in pink? Gimme a break people. The other thing I will try to do (though I may fail miserably at it) is to resist buying a whole bunch of cartoon print baby stuff. Don't really want Whinnie the Pooh or Mickey Mouse crap all over my baby and my house. Baby stuff that are black, brown, non-cutsy or with little skull print on them is welcome!

2. I will not blog or build a Facebook page for my baby. Babies are babies because they don't know, can't and probably don't want (if they knew) to blog or write their Facebook pages. They will be too busy eating, pooping, sleeping and crying. Plus, all the flash from the huge number of pictures taken by parents can make an infant plenty dizzy. You can tell the babies about their earlier days when they are older if you wish. But building an on-line identity of your baby without their consent is not something I will engage in. Leave the babies alone!

3. I am choosing to go with a midwife, not an obstetrics/gynecology doctor. One thing I must clear up is that I am not a hippie/holistic medicine nut. I don't eat 100% organic and I believe in science. Also, I am going to a hospital to give birth.

The reasons I'm going with a midwife is 80% science based. Statistics show midwives deliver a higher percentage of babies without induction, epidural and Cesarean section, provided if the mother is healthy. There are also other studies out there that show a positive correlation between an epidural and longer duration of labour. The other 20% is that I have heard and seen enough to conclude that people are over-treated and over-medicated in the U.S. in general. So I plan to resist the mainstream inclination to get ob/gyn to "actively manage" or dictate the terms of a birth.

C-section surgery, for example, is more profitable for the doctors and hospitals. It's faster and more predictable, and you bill it to the insurance company as a major surgery. Some doctors (I'm not saying all) prefer c-sections because overall it's a better alternative for them. They may get to eat dinner at a normal hour! Something like 27% of women have babies via a c-section in the US, which is a crazy high number. Of course, there are many other reasons for a higher rate of c-section besides a doctor's preference, such as older age of the mother, higher rates of obesity and diabetes. But I still think there are many unnecessary c-sections out there.

4. My last rant is my aversion of expensive and special purpose baby stuff that parents love blowing money on. The list starts with $1000 strollers, $500 crib, bottle warmers (cus a microwave is just not cute enough for your new baby), nursing pillow (cus regular pillows will make your baby sad) and designer baby clothes like Ralph Lauren for infants (your baby must look preppier than your neighbor's).

I'm sure the list will grow since I haven't stepped into a Baby r Us yet. (I hope I won't have to)